This thought crossed my mind as I was watching television today. Contrary to what you might think, you need to start off by being exceptionally talented. I know what you are thinking – an exceptionally talented person would not lose $100M. Okay, fair enough but hear me out. You see, if you are not exceptionally talented you probably do not have the wherewithal to make $100 million, let alone lose it.
Once you have developed your talent to where you will make lots of money, you need to branch off from your core abilities and take on new hobbies. You see, it is rare that the abilities that make you so rich are going to be the same things that bring you to the poor house. I’m not saying that it cannot happen but I think you would agree that it would be rare. Oh yeah, it is not enough for you to take on other hobbies. It is important that you not become very good at these hobbies. It is even more helpful if these hobbies are something that perhaps could get you into trouble for. Let’s pick something out of thin air – say for instance, interstate dog fighting.
A lot of people do things that could lead to their demise but never get caught. That is why it is important that your illicit activity be well-known. Tell your friends, tell your family – make sure everyone in the world knows that you are engaged in this activity. When you are asked what your plans are for the weekend, don’t be shy – just tell them that you are going to your mountain house to engage in dog fighting.
When the authorities finally come to your house, deny everything but make sure that you leave plenty of evidence for them to ultimately convict you. If you are lucky enough, perhaps your friends will agree to testify against you. That should be enough to lead to your conviction (or guilty plea to be precise) so that you will lose your job, your sponsors, your life….and most importantly, $100 million.
By the way, if my puppy doesn’t stay away from my toys, I’m taking him to the Bad Newz Kennels – anyone know their phone number?
Once you have developed your talent to where you will make lots of money, you need to branch off from your core abilities and take on new hobbies. You see, it is rare that the abilities that make you so rich are going to be the same things that bring you to the poor house. I’m not saying that it cannot happen but I think you would agree that it would be rare. Oh yeah, it is not enough for you to take on other hobbies. It is important that you not become very good at these hobbies. It is even more helpful if these hobbies are something that perhaps could get you into trouble for. Let’s pick something out of thin air – say for instance, interstate dog fighting.
A lot of people do things that could lead to their demise but never get caught. That is why it is important that your illicit activity be well-known. Tell your friends, tell your family – make sure everyone in the world knows that you are engaged in this activity. When you are asked what your plans are for the weekend, don’t be shy – just tell them that you are going to your mountain house to engage in dog fighting.
When the authorities finally come to your house, deny everything but make sure that you leave plenty of evidence for them to ultimately convict you. If you are lucky enough, perhaps your friends will agree to testify against you. That should be enough to lead to your conviction (or guilty plea to be precise) so that you will lose your job, your sponsors, your life….and most importantly, $100 million.
By the way, if my puppy doesn’t stay away from my toys, I’m taking him to the Bad Newz Kennels – anyone know their phone number?
1 comment:
You are so smart Holly. You should grow up to be a lawyer.
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