Pictures with Santa

Santa at Phipps in Atlanta.

“Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn. The clean cool chill of the holiday air. And an a$$hole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.” Clark W. Griswold

Last Saturday we went to Phipps Mall to see Santa. For our northern friends who are not familiar with this, we have now done this for each of my first 3 years. Several months ago Mommy booked our appointment in the middle of the night as these slots book up quickly. For those keeping score, I was a perfect angel the first year we did this; I was a crying mess the second year, and this year…..I was good. It was Ty’s first appointment with Santa and we both sat on Santa’s lap. I played the brave role of big sister and helped Ty tell Santa what he wants for Christmas. I can’t wait to see the pictures and video. You can see my friend Ella in the pictures too. Mommy and Ella's mommy always book our Santa appointments together so we can see each other sit on his lap.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention - Aunt Lori and her friend Rachel came with us to Phipps. Rachel visited from Pennsylvania to see Ty and I. I played with her for hours when Mommy and Daddy went to a Christmas party over the weekend.

After the long day at the mall we came home and Mommy then went out for a drink with Rachel and Lori. While they were out Daddy was busy on the phone leaving the same message over and over while I watched TV. “Hey, this is Todd…I need you to do me a huge favor…I need you to take your name off your phone…my wife may be calling you. You got to do this for me. Huge…quickly… bye.” It was really strange but after he was finished I helped him hide his golf clubs in the basement.

Christmas Card War II

“Your company kill off all them people in India not long ago?” – Cousin Eddie Johnson

A few weeks ago we had pictures taken, one of which was destined to become the picture used for our family Christmas Card. Recently, the pictures came back and Mommy showed Daddy the card that was made which consisted of a large beautiful picture of Ty and I….and a smaller picture of the entire family. Daddy does not like his picture taken nor does he like it in the form of a card so he was not happy with the card. And there lies the fundamental disagreement between Mommy and Daddy. Daddy believes that the Christmas card should only have a picture of Ty and I and Mommy likes the family element.

So how do normal people resolve a difference of opinion? I have no idea – I live with Mommy and Daddy. What Mommy and Daddy do, however, is take all of the Christmas and Holiday cards they have received to date and tape them on the pantry door in the kitchen. Each night, Mommy and Daddy count the number of cards which show the entire family of our friends and those cards showing only the beloved offspring of the card givers.

Unfortunately for Mommy, Daddy is winning. Winning what?….I have no idea. …but that hasn’t stopped the chanting and arm waving each night.

Breakfast with Santa

Santa and Mrs. Claus came to my school last week. Mrs. Claus read stories to us kids while Mr. Claus posed for pictures and took toy requests. I suspect that the Claus family moved to the “south” pole this year because Mrs. Claus had a distinct southern accent reading stories about baby Jesus…or maybe back then everyone was “fixin to” do certain things.

I am not a big fan of sitting on Santa’a lap but this was Ty’s first time seeing Santa and he needed my help so I was a big girl and sat there with him. You can see Grammy in one of the pictures – she came to visit me during the past week and took care of Ty and I.

Speaking of Ty, he is growing like a little weed. Right now his favorite things to do are eat and cry and when he is finished doing that he then likes to eat and cry, and after that he likes to….(what do you think?)

A Time to be Thankful

Thanksgiving table at Grandma and Poppy's house.

Uncle Troy, Ty and I the day before Thanksgiving.

Uncle Tim holding Ty for the first time.

"Different Lorie", that is what I call Uncle Tim's girlfriend. It is hard having an Aunt Lori and then Uncle Tim's girlfriend with the same name!

Grandma, Travis and I made Lifesaver men Christmas decorations after our beautiful turkey dinner. I had a blast with the glue! Thanks for helping me Grandma and Uncle Travis.

Daddy holding Ty.

Aunt Lori holding Ty.

Playing toys with Uncle Travis. He is my best friend!

I am thankful that I have a new brother that I love even though he wakes me up every night.

I am thankful that except for one person, all of my aunts and uncles will be there on Thanksgiving. (Uncles Troy, Tim, Travis and Aunt Lori) I can only assume my uncle Greg will make it up to me.

I am thankful that the Cowboys play the Oakland Raiders this year.

I am thankful my Mommy and Daddy love me very much.

I am thankful Mommy can function on 1 hour of sleep.

I am thankful Poppy and Grandma are going to have us over for dinner on Thanksgiving.

I am thankful that Grammy is coming to visit in a couple of days.

I am thankful that turkeys can run up to 20 MPH.

I am thankful the turkey we have is dead so we do not have to catch him.

I am thankful that Daddy is happy that Steven Seagal has his own show.

I will be thankful when it is canceled after 2 weeks.

And then there were two Chubbys

At birth, my brother Ty Joseph weighed 8 lbs, 4 ounces and was 20 inches long. According to the birth certificate information Mommy completed, Daddy is the father of my little brother. In addition, the birth certificate application indicates that we intend to get him a social security number and we have declared that he is white/Caucasian. For those wondering, Ty is not short for anything. For those who have the inclination to call him T.J., my advice would be not to do so in front of Mommy.

He came out of the womb screaming and only calmed down when Mommy held him. Mommy did very well and even as they were cutting Ty out of her belly she was directing Daddy to take lots of pictures and video. Believe me, we now have lots of pictures.

Ty likes to eat but he doesn’t sleep more than a couple of hours before he wants to eat again. With all appropriate modesty, I have been very helpful. I remind Mommy when Ty needs to eat; I help change his diaper; I hold and take care of him and calm him down when he cries. On the other hand, Daddy is pretty useless.

Tick-Tock

Mommy had her toes done for the big day! I had to have my toes painted a nice color too. I chose a lovely red for my fingers and toes. Daddy is so proud that Mommy has passed on her manicure and pedicure routine to me!

We have less than a week to go. Either my brother will come naturally via the stork or he will be carved out of Mommy’s stomach. The preliminary indications are that he is pretty big so we shall see. When I was born it took a long time for me to come out. Daddy tried to film Mommy every hour to chronicle my progress but he stopped after it became apparent that a broken camera and nose was likely if he continued.

I am so excited to see my brother and I have waited so very long. I have read books about how to be a big sister and how to take care of my little brother. I have helped Mommy decorate his room and get his blankets and clothes organized. With all of that, I have to admit that I am a little jealous so I have decided to cope by soiling myself instead of going to the potty. That seems to be getting me some extra attention.

On the day of his birth we will need to get to the hospital very early because it will be a long walk from the lot after Mommy parks the car and carries the bags inside and we want to make sure we get there in plenty of time. Once Mommy gives birth I am going to visit and give my brother a big kiss. Daddy is going to stay with Mommy at the hospital that night and Aunt Lori promised Mommy that she would watch me and I promised Daddy that I would watch Aunt Lori so it is win-win for everybody.

Fabulous Fall Fun

The wet and cool weather played havoc with our visit to the pumpkin patch but we eventually made it there this week. My friend Tyler and I headed to Uncle Shuck’s pumpkin patch to get a pumpkin, go on a hay ride, and run around the fields.

On Saturday, our local politician sponsored a community party to grease the residents for votes. We got there early so I could challenge him about the current unemployment rate, budget deficit, the prospect of higher taxes, and the pot-hole on my street. However, when I got there I got distracted with the wonderful artist who was in charge of face-painting. As you can see, she painted a beautiful butterfly on my face. So in light of the good time I had, I would like to say that my representative is doing a fabulous job and I will fully support his re-election bid….or even a Nobel Peace Prize.

Today we went to visit my new friend Hunter. He is only a few weeks old and is cute as can be. I look forward to playing with him when he gets a little bigger, and then someday going to the park and going on play-dates with him, and way in the future when he is in high school….I can introduce him to college chicks and buy him beer.

Uncle Shuck's Pumpkin patch with my best friend Tyler.