Walk like an Egyptian

Mommy has been teaching me how to walk this week. I don’t want to exaggerate my progress since I cannot stand without holding on to something but if Mommy holds my hands I can walk my chubby thighs across the room. My steps are getting better – at first it looked like I was goose-stepping across the room like a North Korean soldier. Now I look a little more coordinated.

Mommy has begun to make it harder for me to get into things. Mommy put a gate at my bedroom door that prevents me from tumbling down the stairs. Also, about a week ago the cabinets in the kitchen became impossible for me to get into. It’s like it happened overnight – one day I could open the cabinets and help organize things and then the next day I couldn’t open them. There must be a trick though because I notice that Mommy can open them. And then there are those little holes in the wall that our lights plug into. Mommy has put little plastics discs on these making it impossible for me to put my little fingers in.

Tomorrow we have a busy day. We are going to the gym in the morning and then Daddy and I are going to hang out and watch a hockey game in the afternoon. Grandma and Grandpa are coming over tomorrow evening to baby-sit while Mommy and Daddy go out to dinner.

Dinner at Grandma and Grandpa's

Below are some pictures at Grandma and Grandpa's house last week. We basically had Thanksgiving dinner all over again. I ate too much but I think I covered all of the major food groups - meats, fruits, vegetables and even those lesser known food groups such as the whipped group, cake group, and hard candy group. That chocolate lollipop you see in the picture below never had a chance.

Getting Ready for Christmas

Over the weekend we decorated our Christmas tree and Daddy finished putting the lights on our trees in the front of the house. Many of our neighbors have also been decorating early so our street looks pretty festive already. With all of our decorations both inside and outside, we are officially ready for Christmas and the arrival of Santa Claus.

After doing a little more research I understand that Santa comes every year and gives presents to every boy and girl who have been good during the preceding year. All those who have not been good get coal (not the kind that has diamonds either). Because Santa has a bit of weight problem, all of his toys are made by little elves. These elves are not well paid and apparently have not figured out how to unionize. Santa is transported by a team of reindeer who seem to be treated better than the elves. They at least have names and a song. Can you name an elf?

Despite being less than fit, Santa rarely comes down with a cold or flu that prevents him from bringing his presents to all children around the world. Because he is on a tight schedule bringing presents around the world, it is important to leave him a few cookies and a glass of milk to give him the energy to get to the next house. However, there have been some occasions where Santa has been too sick to deliver presents. On those occasions he calls his friend, Hanukkah Harry, who delivers presents courtesy of his three donkeys – Moische, Herschel, and Schlomo.

I can’t wait for Santa to come to my house.

Turkey Day

For Thanksgiving we went to Uncle Dan and Aunt Christine’s house. I had meatballs, crackers, rolls, mashed potatoes, turkey, ham, stuffing, mac and cheese, a cookie, and my bottle. I missed out on a few items that I wanted to try but I was kind of full. Actually, I was so full that after dinner I vomited on Mommy in a sort of cartoon-like manner. It wasn’t all eating though. We also watched some football and I played with my cousin Andrew. I also spent some time chasing one of the cats – Valentino. It was a long day and I was very tired when it was all said and done.

Today was Black Friday and Mommy went to do some Christmas shopping which means that there will also be a Black Tuesday when the credit card bill comes. I didn’t go with Mommy but instead stayed home with Daddy and played with my toys and watched tv. Daddy and I were watching CNBC and learned that some stores opened at 4am for would-be shoppers. If you were one of these people please leave a comment so that I can remember to think less of you.

When Mommy got home Daddy put up some of the outdoor lights. We need to get the tree up this weekend and make our house as festive as possible for the holiday season.
While Mommy was gone Daddy was telling me tales about an obsess resident of the North Pole who dresses up in a red suit and on December 24th will break into our home and leave gifts so long as we leave him some cookies and milk. I told Daddy that I would leave him a cake tomorrow if he would come sooner but apparently it doesn’t work that way. I need to do some research and learn more about this man.

The day before Thanksgiving with the
girls to cook some of our dinner for tomorrow.


















Come here kitty, kitty! I chased Val on turkey day!

A Time to be Thankful

I am thankful for all of the food we are going to eat on Thanksgiving.

I am thankful that the Pilgrims had the first Thanksgiving with the Native American Indians.

I am thankful that we purchased Manhattan from the Native American Indians for $24 because that seems like a pretty good deal.

I am thankful that I have a Daddy that loves me very much.

I am thankful that we watch hockey, football, baseball, poker, and CNBC together in high definition as was meant for fathers and daughters.

I am thankful that they kicked Rosie off The View. Now I wish they would kick the rest off.

I am thankful that I have a Mommy that loves me very much and takes care of me each day.

I am thankful that I have a group of friends that I play with each week.

I am thankful that The Bachelor ended because it didn’t matter who won, they are all losers.

I am thankful that I will see some of my relatives on Thanksgiving.

I will be thankful if my relatives do not discuss politics on Thanksgiving so that nobody has a heart attack.

I am thankful that my puppy loves me and lets me pull on his ears and tail.

I am thankful that my Aunt Lori loves me and promises to teach me how to “properly dance” in da clubs someday.

I will be thankful when Daddy allows me to go out with Aunt Lori when I turn 35.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

Now I am moving!

Well, it’s official – I can crawl forward. I had been getting around with a combination of half-crawling, and then rolling but now I can be much more efficient in getting to where I need to go.

Yesterday, Mommy and Daddy did a little yard work – raking up all of the leaves from our trees. As you can see in the pictures they made a huge pile of leaves and put me right in the middle. I really liked playing in the leaves. However, they do not taste as good as you would think – trust me.

On Saturday I went to dinner with Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa. I had a dinner roll, ravioli, pears, french fries, pulled pork, macaroni and cheese and spinach. Then I topped everything off with my bottle. Everything was delicious. That may sound like a lot but I need to train hard for my first Thanksgiving. I intend to put on an eating display this week.

Some of the people in our neighborhood are beginning to put up their Christmas decorations. Daddy spent part of the day today digging through the basement to find his outside lights. This will be my first Christmas and I am really looking forward to it seeing all of the decorations. Daddy has promised that all of the lights and decorations will be up by this time next week. With that said, Mommy has put some limitations on what Daddy can and cannot put in front of the house so that embarrassment and shame is not brought upon either Mommy or I.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, in the next couple of days I will compile a list of the things I am thankful for and share them with you. Stay tuned.

Playing with My Friends

I didn’t see Daddy the last couple of days. He tried to get home to see me before bedtime but the highways were jammed with heroes on a last chance power drive (a cheap Bruce Springsteen reference). In the meantime my friends came over to play at my house while our Mommies made bread. You can see a few of the pictures of us playing together.

Last night I watched part of a hockey game with Daddy and fell asleep before the game ended.

I'm too sexy for my shirt…

Friday night represented a rare opportunity for Mommy, Daddy, and I to go out to dinner. Mommy and Daddy had sushi. You know, in Japan, men come first and women come second “or sometimes not at all” as Daddy likes to steal from Austin Powers. “Yeah Baby!”

Turning to Saturday I think it is safe to say that Right Said Fred was never as sexy as I am. I was up early for my photo shoot which turned out to not be a good idea as it meant that I was missing my nap time. Anyway, we shot pictures for a couple of hours – indoors, outdoors, in a pretty Christmas outfit, a casual outfit, still shots, action shots, you name it. The photographer was barking orders at me – “show me happy, show me sad, angry, playful, seductive, serious,” etc. You will see a few of the pictures as soon as we get them back.

It was a long morning but overall things went pretty well with the exception that my puppy Monty refused to sit still for our family photo. One thing I learned is that modeling is tough work. After we finished I had a nice big lunch and took a nap. If I am going to continue to model, I think I am going to need to eat less…or perhaps vomit more. The latter is not really an option because afterall, this is The Chubby Chronicles.

They tried to make me go to sleep and I said no, no, no.

Sorry for not posting in a while. I had a cold earlier this week and I didn’t sleep much until mid-week. As a result, Mommy didn’t sleep much either. Daddy doesn’t hear squat in the middle of the night….or so he tells Mommy. Daddy secretly told me that he lies very still in bed and slows down his breathing to simulate that he is asleep – almost dead really. I told Daddy that it wasn’t very nice to do that but Daddy told me that Mommy sometimes pulls that trick on him when I am sleeping soundly. That didn’t make sense to me but he wouldn’t elaborate any further.

On Wednesday I went to another coffee house with my play-group. Daddy’s impression that these places are filled with wall to wall jobless hippies is a bit misplaced. I had a lot fun with my friends as I always do.

On Thursday I made a new friend – Trey. He is almost four weeks old and is so cute (check out the picture). In 24 short months he will grow to my size.

This weekend we are getting our Christmas pictures taken! I will let you know how it goes.


I'm ten months old today and loving it!

Little baby Trey and I at his house for a visit. He is only 3 1/2 weeks old!

A trip to the city

This is my friend Kiersten and I at the coffee house. It is called "Sip the Experience". We just ate some baby food and called it a day.

Autumn Blues

I have been a little under the weather the last few days. It started on Thursday and by Friday I was pretty miserable. I slept about one hour on Friday night and was up the entire day on Saturday. I had a little fever but mainly I had a cold and some congestion which caused me to feel pretty blue. On Saturday night Grandma and Grandpa came over to baby-sit me and I finally zonked out at 11:30PM only to wake up again at 1:30AM when Mommy and Daddy got home. However, this time I did manage to fall asleep again and I am happy to report that I am feeling much better today.

Mommy and Daddy went to Wild Bill’s last night to see Miranda Lambert with my friend Olivia’s parents – Uncle John and Aunt Mary. I believe Daddy is going to need surgery to reattach his eye balls back into their sockets. Those of you from the Atlanta area probably don’t need further explanation.

We recently had a little incident here at The Chubby Chronicles. We had a comment posted last week that was slightly cryptic and anonymous. That is a bad combination for Daddy and made him raise the level on his crazy person warning system to Code Orange. However, a few days later he was relieved to learn that the anonymous poster was actually a friend. To protect this person’s identity, we’ll just call her Tina (because that’s her name). Anyway, we are out of lockdown mode.