Fat Boy

Long live the Chubby Chronicles! My brother Ty had his two-month appointment at the doctor’s office and he has ballooned up to 14.5 lbs, putting him in the 94th percentile (still way below my pace). He got off to a rough start only weighing about 10lbs after his first month but bounced back nicely in the 2nd month living up to the high expectations of the Chubby Chronicles. His head size and height are way down in the 50th-60th percentile so right now he is tracking toward a body make-up of portly…which is better known as short and fat.

I forgot to mention that we had some snow a couple of weeks back so I took advantage of things and went out to make a snowman. It turns out, however, that one cannot make a snowman with 1/16th of an inch of snow. Actually, all I was able to do was make a couple of snowballs and chase Daddy around the yard. When I missed I quickly retrieved my errant throw because down here in the south we must re-use our snowballs.

Daddy’s annual bout of depression following the end of the Cowboys season began on Sunday. No further words are needed.

Birthday Girl

I turned 3 last week which and had a wonderful party with my friends at The Little Gym where we jumped, rolled, and ran around the gym. We also had pizza from the new and improved Domino’s (love those commercials) and a cake that the Cake Boss would have been proud of. Thank you to all of my friends who were able to come – I appreciate it very much.

After the party, Mommy, Uncle Greg, Aunt Lori, Ty, and I drove up to North Carolina to see Great Grammy and Great Poppy. Daddy stayed home to watch the Great Cowboys! Daddy is happy now but I have seen this story before and I know how it ends – with Daddy crying on the floor.

Santa Rocks!

I was sound asleep but Daddy told me that the sled landed on our roof and Santa slid down the chimney without making a peep. He carefully placed my toys around the tree and ate the two cookies I left for him while his reindeer grazed on the magic oats I left for them outside.

Contrary to Daddy’s story, Mommy told me that Santa sat on his fat a$$ all night. He ate my cookies and finished another dozen or so while his fingers got tired playing Xbox. Mrs. Claus wrapped the gifts and left them under the tree while Santa slept.

I wish Mommy and Daddy would get their stories together. Nonetheless, Christmas was wonderful. I got lots of wonderful toys and I spent a lot of time playing with my toys and my family.

Happy New Year!

Pictures with Santa

Santa at Phipps in Atlanta.

“Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn. The clean cool chill of the holiday air. And an a$$hole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.” Clark W. Griswold

Last Saturday we went to Phipps Mall to see Santa. For our northern friends who are not familiar with this, we have now done this for each of my first 3 years. Several months ago Mommy booked our appointment in the middle of the night as these slots book up quickly. For those keeping score, I was a perfect angel the first year we did this; I was a crying mess the second year, and this year…..I was good. It was Ty’s first appointment with Santa and we both sat on Santa’s lap. I played the brave role of big sister and helped Ty tell Santa what he wants for Christmas. I can’t wait to see the pictures and video. You can see my friend Ella in the pictures too. Mommy and Ella's mommy always book our Santa appointments together so we can see each other sit on his lap.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention - Aunt Lori and her friend Rachel came with us to Phipps. Rachel visited from Pennsylvania to see Ty and I. I played with her for hours when Mommy and Daddy went to a Christmas party over the weekend.

After the long day at the mall we came home and Mommy then went out for a drink with Rachel and Lori. While they were out Daddy was busy on the phone leaving the same message over and over while I watched TV. “Hey, this is Todd…I need you to do me a huge favor…I need you to take your name off your phone…my wife may be calling you. You got to do this for me. Huge…quickly… bye.” It was really strange but after he was finished I helped him hide his golf clubs in the basement.

Christmas Card War II

“Your company kill off all them people in India not long ago?” – Cousin Eddie Johnson

A few weeks ago we had pictures taken, one of which was destined to become the picture used for our family Christmas Card. Recently, the pictures came back and Mommy showed Daddy the card that was made which consisted of a large beautiful picture of Ty and I….and a smaller picture of the entire family. Daddy does not like his picture taken nor does he like it in the form of a card so he was not happy with the card. And there lies the fundamental disagreement between Mommy and Daddy. Daddy believes that the Christmas card should only have a picture of Ty and I and Mommy likes the family element.

So how do normal people resolve a difference of opinion? I have no idea – I live with Mommy and Daddy. What Mommy and Daddy do, however, is take all of the Christmas and Holiday cards they have received to date and tape them on the pantry door in the kitchen. Each night, Mommy and Daddy count the number of cards which show the entire family of our friends and those cards showing only the beloved offspring of the card givers.

Unfortunately for Mommy, Daddy is winning. Winning what?….I have no idea. …but that hasn’t stopped the chanting and arm waving each night.

Breakfast with Santa

Santa and Mrs. Claus came to my school last week. Mrs. Claus read stories to us kids while Mr. Claus posed for pictures and took toy requests. I suspect that the Claus family moved to the “south” pole this year because Mrs. Claus had a distinct southern accent reading stories about baby Jesus…or maybe back then everyone was “fixin to” do certain things.

I am not a big fan of sitting on Santa’a lap but this was Ty’s first time seeing Santa and he needed my help so I was a big girl and sat there with him. You can see Grammy in one of the pictures – she came to visit me during the past week and took care of Ty and I.

Speaking of Ty, he is growing like a little weed. Right now his favorite things to do are eat and cry and when he is finished doing that he then likes to eat and cry, and after that he likes to….(what do you think?)